I started writing a blog the beginning of December, on a consistent basis. At this point it has become hugely inconsistent, for a few reasons. The first being I really didn’t know what to write about. I had written about self harm, about depression, about losing a kitten.
I have written book reviews, I have talked about how honored I was at being asked to go to a blogging convention. I have written about being diagnosed with RA.
A few days ago, I decided it was time for me to get a tattoo. I had many times thought about it, about actually doing it. Friday I finally did. I was so afraid, one, because…I was afraid I would chicken out. Another, because yes I get aroused by pain. ***motherfucker*** wouldn’t that be embarrassing as hell? I was prepared for that. But…what I was not ready for was that I laughed.
Like to the point I was giggling in my chair and he had to stop. I do realize that the tickle reflex is the same as the pain reflex. I realize though that I have thought about this. There was a few spots that felt…I won’t lie, stupidly good and I wish he could have stayed there with the gun for longer.
There is the other side…that some spots made me clench my teeth and hope he would hurry up and move on, cause holy mother of god that spot hurt. I am pretty amazed in general at how little it hurt.
A few have asked, so I’ll explain.
The teal ribbon, is for PCOS awareness, basically I am hairy as a man and can’t really explain it, but it feels like my ovaries go nuclear each month and explode.e
The white ribbon, or silver. Is for Self Harm awareness. I’ve been pretty open about it, but yes….I cut. I self harm. Oddly enough when I am in a “real” ds relationship I don’t. I get the “pain” from that. So I don’t need it there.
When I’m not…I find ways off getting the pain, or bruises I feel like I need.
comes the phrase.
My dad was a navy man, the “harbour” is spelt that way for two very special men.