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A Visit To The Vampires.


Okay, so along with the weight loss crap that has gone on, I have been putting off actively trying to get to Labcorb to get 4 measly vials of blood drawn. It is not like they are trying to excavate for oil right? except they are. The evil sods that go to work as blood drawing type people must have read de Sade and thought “OOOOO sticky blood fun”.

So, here’s how it went down today. My mom wakes up and is all “I think we should go get our blood drawn today”. The fuck? where the HELL did that come from I ask you? Oh right, that Wednesday I have another appointment with the Dr who is wanting to go over these blood tests. Oh fucking god help me.

I know a great many (alright the 4 of you who read this) are going “what is so bad about this?” Well I am about to tell you. My veins see a needle and go all “holy shit it is a clown back the fuck off”. And hide. Like Steven Kings IT is RIGHT there in the damned drain about to eat their ankles. (note, I have not watched this movie, I just know it’s about a clown that was enough for me to leave it the hell alone). So I like a dumbass didn’t drink -anything- no water, no random other non anythings. No black coffee nothing to hydrate myself. I get there, and she’s all “Only 4 little tubes to fill”.

Alrighty then. Now I am not afraid of blood, Vampires are -totally cool- by me. However. The needle going into my body, total another story. So here’s how it went down.
I sat in this contraption that looked like some sort of jacked up school desk for people who write both left, and right-handed. She grabs a needle that closely resembles a garden hose, and says “Make a fist”. Easy, as I already want to punch concrete. Not too long down the road she sticks the needle in, which didn’t hurt. NO really it didn’t. However when she started turning it in 360 fucking degrees it did. What-the-fuck- was that all about huh? HUH?

Right “You don’t have a vein here” Well…alrighty then. Next arm.

“I can feel the vein do you?” No….No I do not. I feel skin, what the hell is a vein supposed to feel like???

“Oh Drat, it collapsed”

of course it did

“Oh there is one in your for arm. Let’s try that shall we”. -sure why the hell not-

Right, so I tried it. I watched her insert this gigantic needle in my forearm and got her to get one whole vial filled. The vein collapsed.

No shit. It collapsed.

So….we do the same thing in two spots on my left hand….one, got one whole vial, the other got two. I now look like I have driven nails up my arm.

How is this huh? Well because some sadistic cow at Labcorp (She is a very nice woman), used my arm as some sort of odd experiment in how many times she can stick needles into arms without killing one person.

Moral to this story? Don’t ever let me get blood taken again mkay? Also please do not let me go do with out drinking a gallon of water.

Also.

what the hell?

Also I am linking this up with Yeah Write

READ Peoples blogs y’all there are some amazing writers out there. I am not one of them. But read anyway

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The Three Little Pickles


(a story by my daughter)

The Three Little Pickles

Once upon a time there were three little pickles in a house in the mountains.
One day the little pickles saw a banana leaving the house. One of the little pickle asked
“Where are you going?”
“You better leave too if you don’t want to get eaten.”
“Eaten? Who would eat us?”

“The big bad wolf that’s who. “

So the little pickles set off to find a new home, the little pickles saw the big bad wolf and ran in different directions. They hoped it would confuse him, but it did not work. One ran into a meadow and decided to build a house out of flowers, another ran into a farm, and decided to build a house out of tomatoes, the third little pickle ran into a rock farm, and then made a house out of rock.

Then the big bad wolf came to the first little pickle. He said “if you don’t open this door I will huff and puff and then I will gobble you up.” Then he huffed and puffed and gobbled him up. The big bad wolf went to the second little pickles house and said ‘if you don’t open I will huff and puff and gobble you up.” So he huffed and puffed and gobbled him up. The big bad wolf went to the third little pickles house and said “If you don’t come out I will huff and puff and gobble you up.” The third little pickle had a heart attack that killed her. The big bad wolf did not have a chance, then he died of starvation.

The End.

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Progress.


So it’s Tuesdays. I realize that I said I would do weigh ins on Thursday’s, but today I happened to steal borrow a set of scales from my cousin and I have officially lost 10 lbs.

Take that!!!

Also, Hips 52.5. Waist 39.75 Bust 44

FUCK YEAH

also, I ran two blocks last night. NO it’s not the 3 miles that my cousin Tamara did with her dogs tonight, but it is my little win.

I am so proud!!!

28 Comments

the world is crazy


I’m starting this with no clear title today. Normally I have some major theme that is stuck in my head, today will most likely be lots of rambling and not making much sense. I have just come out of a pretty major depression downfall. I tried my damnest to push someone away that I shouldn’t have. I attempted to shut down and start the hiding cycle again.

That didn’t happen this time, thank gods that person didn’t let me push them away, didn’t let me say “I am not good enough for you, I’m broken.” Because I need them in my life. I see the beauty that is around me and I know I am absolutely so blessed by this. The Bloggess says “Depression lies”. I want to say yes, yes it does. That voice in your head that says you are worthless, that you have no point. It is a lying son of a bitch.

I am broken, I have mild to moderate social anxiety. I have mild to moderate depression. I have..mild ocd. I have an impulse control issue where I just blurt phrases out with no point to them. I see myself in odd situations where normal people don’t do what I do. I drove into a coffee shop (not literally cause that would be stupid and ordered an ice coffee that I didn’t even want just to keep myself from having a police man follow me when I was driving.

Normal people don’t do that shit. They just don’t. They don’t hear sirens outside their house and start shaking. Normal people don’t think of going outside to walk the dogs like it is the most terrifying thing that has ever existed. I am tired of being broken like that.

However.

If given the choice between being how I am, and not being how I am. I don’t think I would change.

I would cut out the self harm, because the lattice work of scars that are slowly growing, are not pretty. I see them. but…I can wear sleeveless shirts and no one else notices them. I don’t quite understand that side of me. I just know that it helps. Not in the way a lot of people say it helps, it helps by removing me from that situation. I feel that pain and it stops what I am feeling, and I am able to go on. It stops the “You are worthless” thoughts. I can’t be worthless if I can feel that.

There is no “Happy ending”

no “conclusion” to this blog post, because there is no end to this.

if you are in this cycle, lhannis@gmail.com
ladyeji on twitter

FIND ME. I will talk to you, FIND someone who will talk to you.

Get help.

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It must be thursday


It is Thursday, so it must time for the update. Now this is the weekly update on the weight loss thing, last Thursday my measurements were
Hips 52, waist 43, Breasts 45.

This week
Hips 52 (no change there….drat)
Waist 41 (HOO FUCKING RAY!!!)
Breasts 44 (HELLS YEAH)

okay so that is a tangible result!

I am over the motherloving moon here. about ready to scream, not in the same way say if I had topped the NYT’s best seller, but you know…I’m not The Bloggess, so I am good with that. This makes me stupidly happy for her, insanely jealous of all those that got to meet her, but beyond that I am good! I got into a fight with the guy at Barnes and Nobles, when I couldn’t find her book. They had it sort of hidden behind other “more normal” books. They all glared at me like I was insane I kept ranting “IT HAS A DEAD MOUSE ON THE COVER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD”. I think they worried about my sanity,

  • and they should have
  • .

    I got home, and instantly started that sort of manic coughing that comes from mildly insane laughter. Because -her vagina is wily-. I almost peed my pants.

  • fuck
  • alright I did pee my pants. because I found in her someone who while my dad had never done the live bob cat thing he HAD exploded stink bait all over a neighbors Garments (We lived in a Mormon area …). My mom thought I had lost my mind, my daughter kept stepping back slowly. The only one that stood by me, was my dog. Bless her heart, thank god for the loyalty of Winnie.

    So what does this have to do with anything? My friend Jennie, you know @myhumanrevo, the writer at myhuman revolution she is giving away a signed copy of this book. GO ENTER!!! I am commanding you. Alright no I’m not commanding you. but I am suggesting it with a lot of enthusiasm.

    17 Comments

    Zombie Kittens, the Plague, and angels in cottonwood.


    I have to admit, often in my world things go from really fucking insane to bat shit crazy to “marginally” normal.

    This week is the “Bat shit crazy” week, compete with black cats, and the plague. It all started when I found what I wrongly assumed was a Dead Baby Kitten under my bed, turns out the mother fucker was alive. ALIVE. I tell you. I am waiting for him/her/it to start eating my brains any day now. So now one week into the Zombie Kitten Uprising, I have grown attached to the little hissing asshole. I say this, because *I* Have raised my child thank you, I should not have to wake up several times a night to breast feed a child that isn’t mine. Yet I am.

    I started with that diet plan, I actually weighed myself I have officially lost 4 lbs in a little under 1 month, about 3 weeks. I am not having to shave as often as I was. I previously was having to shave 2 times a day, now it is down to 1 sometimes I can even skip a day and not look like a short Sasquatch. This is a good thing, the bear person look is not flattering.

    I have been asked this, so I will answer. Am I craving anything on the medication I am on? No. I am eating anything I want, just not as hungry as I usually am. Today I had a packet of beef jerky 0 carbs 80 calories, for lunch and was full. I was at the belly bursting I’m going to die kind of full. This is a good thing.

    The only real issue I am having is I am very thirsty, all the time thirsty. The other I am exhausted, I think some of that has to do with the plague, and possibly the amount of lemons I’ve at lately.

    Then, my mom, the quilterholic, went a bit supernovainsanespeed hand quilter on me, and hand stitched approximately 800 yards (no I am NOT exaggerating) in ONE week, finishing the quilt my Uncle Freeman and Aunt Midge asked her to make. Seen here.

    My Moms Super Nova Quilt

     

    So I should point out she did NOT piece this, she just added the stripes to the outside, and hand quilted approximately 2 miles worth of stitches. I should point out that my mom is insane, and loved every minute of it. There is 14 stitches per inch. you do the math..no? Alright -fuckers- I will.

    14*12=168 stitches per foot

    168×5280=887040 stitches per mile, we figure there is 2 miles worth of stitching on this bitch. SO.

    887040×2=1774080

    That is a butt load of math, and ya’ll thought my blog wasn’t educational. I am a damned after school special. (Do they still have those?)

     

    Okay so after the quilt thing, we decided to take it to Uncle Freeman, on the way there we went up and looked at some wood carvings,

    seen here

     

    Buffalo

     

    Native Americans on horse back, NOTE THE BEAR on his head

     

    Angel...amazing artwork

     

    Notice please how her feet are *NOT FUCKING ATTACHED* to anything

     

    These faces remind me of the drawings I do

     

    So, apparently there is art -every where-. Now how does this roll with me having the plague? My uncle Freeman,

    HIS artwork seen here

     

    Has an amazing artshop, wood working, metal working, hell he was doing the casting for a set of antlers *WHO DOES THIS?* anyway he was making my mom a new hoop for her quilting frame, and we spent ages in his shop, I came home with the plague. It has invaded my lungs, savagely thrown a drunken party in there, and then left me to do the clean up.

    Never the less, I have learned -tons- from this week.

    1. Never think you are free of Zombies, they are *EVERYWHERE*.

    2. When watching your mom do sewing, do not feel guilty and ply her with tons of coffee and chocolate.

    3. When looking at smashingly amazing artwork, wear protective face coverings.

     

    -that is all-

     

     

    -update- Wednesday 6:07pm mst

    M&M The Miracle Kitty, has passed from this world across the rainbow bridge, the results of a seizure.
    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Author unknown…

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    So I then heard dead baby kittens under my bed.


    a few of you may remember when I posted about this Heart Break in our world. Here is the continuing story

    When my cat, Snickers was in mourning for her babies that didn’t make it past their first night.

    And then, a few weeks ago, I told my mom. “I swear to all things holy I heard a KITTEN in my bedroom last night” She said “you’re dreaming”..

    I figured I was…yanno middle of the night, dreaming, and the like it is possible.

    so…Tonight I get home from work, and whip off my bra (cause bras off yanno) and head into my room to put on the comfy after work clothes and on my bed…

    was this

    Looking for momma

    Looking for Momma

    another picture

    Rooting for Momma

    Rooting for momma

    Mystery

    Mystery the amazing