Okay, so along with the weight loss crap that has gone on, I have been
putting off actively trying to get to Labcorb to get 4 measly vials of blood drawn. It is not like they are trying to excavate for oil right? except they are. The evil sods that go to work as blood drawing type people must have read de Sade and thought “OOOOO sticky blood fun”.
So, here’s how it went down today. My mom wakes up and is all “I think we should go get our blood drawn today”. The fuck? where the HELL did that come from I ask you? Oh right, that Wednesday I have another appointment with the Dr who is wanting to go over these blood tests. Oh fucking god help me.
I know a great many (alright the 4 of you who read this) are going “what is so bad about this?” Well I am about to tell you. My veins see a needle and go all “holy shit it is a clown back the fuck off”. And hide. Like Steven Kings IT is RIGHT there in the damned drain about to eat their ankles. (note, I have not watched this movie, I just know it’s about a clown that was enough for me to leave it the hell alone). So I like a dumbass didn’t drink -anything- no water, no random other non anythings. No black coffee nothing to hydrate myself. I get there, and she’s all “Only 4 little tubes to fill”.
Alrighty then. Now I am not afraid of blood, Vampires are -totally cool- by me. However. The needle going into my body, total another story. So here’s how it went down.
I sat in this contraption that looked like some sort of jacked up school desk for people who write both left, and right-handed. She grabs a needle that closely resembles a garden hose, and says “Make a fist”. Easy, as I already want to punch concrete. Not too long down the road she sticks the needle in, which didn’t hurt. NO really it didn’t. However when she started turning it in 360 fucking degrees it did. What-the-fuck- was that all about huh? HUH?
Right “You don’t have a vein here” Well…alrighty then. Next arm.
“I can feel the vein do you?” No….No I do not. I feel skin, what the hell is a vein supposed to feel like???
“Oh Drat, it collapsed”
of course it did
“Oh there is one in your for arm. Let’s try that shall we”. -sure why the hell not-
Right, so I tried it. I watched her insert this gigantic needle in my forearm and got her to get one whole vial filled. The vein collapsed.
No shit. It collapsed.
So….we do the same thing in two spots on my left hand….one, got one whole vial, the other got two. I now look like I have driven nails up my arm.
How is this huh? Well because some sadistic cow at Labcorp (She is a very nice woman), used my arm as some sort of odd experiment in how many times she can stick needles into arms without killing one person.
Moral to this story? Don’t ever let me get blood taken again mkay? Also please do not let me go do with out drinking a gallon of water.
what the hell?
Also I am linking this up with Yeah Write