41 Comments

Winter Always Turns to Spring!


Hello really-out-there blog followers!  When Lori asked me to do a guest blog post I was honored and struck dumb at the same time.  I’ve never been asked to do a guest post before—I’m new to this blog thing—and I’ve had writers block for a week.  For inspiration I went over some of Lori’s old posts.  One of the things I like about her is her unflinching honesty about the reality of life.   We all have our moments of depression and self-destruction, but how many of us are actually talking about it?   So in keeping with her style I’m going to tell you about something I rarely talk about—the darkness that followed the birth of my oldest.

We had planned a home birth complete with a large tub.  Our midwife had shown us videos of orgasmic water births.  Oh yes they looked very orgasmic!  I was ready for anything—I thought.  We ended up transferring to the hospital when my labor didn’t progress.  I called my Buddhist friends and we chanted together while I was laboring in the hospital.  The Girl finally arrived uninjured with a little help from the Dr. after getting stuck.  She was jaundiced and needed eye surgery on a mal-formed tear duct in her first 2 weeks.  Breastfeeding was hard, but we got the hang of it and before long she was healthy and growing so fast.  I was home getting to know this new little baby—and getting to know my husband at the same time since we really rushed into this baby thing pretty quickly after meeting.  She was born in the middle of a beautiful Texas hill country summer.  But I was overwhelmed with the new responsibility and didn’t get out of the house much.  It became hard to do my morning and evening meditations and I slipped into a fog of exhaustion from lack of sleep.   At some point my thyroid stopped producing enough hormones and I would find myself lost in endless cloth diapering laundry piles.  I didn’t take walks.  I didn’t even go to the store much.  After 911 happened I was more reticent to leaving the house.  Then I got a call from a Buddhist friend.  She invited me to her house to chant.  She was at The Girl’s birth and was worried that I hadn’t been out much since.  I loaded The Girl into the car and went to her house.  She read me a quote from Nichiren Diashonin about winter always turning to spring.  Instead of waiting for my spring to come I could create it for myself right in that instant by chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.  My life condition was elevated!  On the way out of her neighborhood that day we rescued our beloved but very bad Wado Dog.  Now I had another reason to go for walks.  Before long my hypothyroidism was diagnosed and I got on thyroid medication–which helped with the depression.  Over the years I’ve had all kinds of winters but each one has turned to spring.

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41 comments on “Winter Always Turns to Spring!

  1. Jennie as almost always you move me to tears.
    Thank you for being the first post on my new blog site

    you honor me

  2. The honor is all mine–really!

  3. […] was asked to do a guest blog post!  Totally honored!  Check it out here. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← Big […]

  4. Love this! You really can create your spring whenever you want to–thanks so much for reminding me of that!

  5. What a wonderful analogy. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad to know you overcame your obstacles. Friends are fantastic, aren’t they?

  6. That is really attention-grabbing, You are an excessively skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look ahead to in quest of extra of your great post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks

  7. Wonderful post Jennie … that you saw through the darkness into the light is a major feat of self-awareness…

  8. Hello over here! Winter always turns to spring is the most wonderful image. So glad that you managed to lift that fog. Children descending so must stop now, but great of you to open up this topic, which I very much relate to.

  9. What a wonderful story!

    Here’s a lovely quote to share

    “Who understands why spring is born out of winter’s laboring pain?
    Or why we all must die a bit before we grow again?”

  10. I read this with great interest: both as a woman who found life very challenging after the birth of my first son, and as someone who has struggled with a sub-par thyroid for years! I hope I’ll reach that spring one day soon!

  11. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write in relation to here. Again, awesome blog!

    • that makes me so happy!

      I honestly don’t have an answer to that! it was sort of “Spur of the moment” with Jenny…

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