I broke my mom.

When my mom turned fifty, I was thirteen and didn’t know zippy about throwing a fantastic party. When she turned sixty, I was twenty three, heavily pregnant and in England. Too far to throw a party and unable to fly because of a giant squirming watermelon in my stomach that suddenly decided to start kicking. Oh and my hand was in a cast because a Guiness glass broke while I was doing dishes. True story ya’ll, doing dishes is dangerous shit.

So my mom is turning seventy this year. I know a lady does not reveal her age, but my moms smoking hot for seventy ya’ll. Like my neighbors called me a liar and said she had to only be fifty five. Yep my moms a killer woman. So for this birthday by damned I was intent on doing something over the top and fantastic, now it does sorta suck that the day I chose happens to be superbowl sunday. (Like I give a rats ass about football, but yanno some people do, so yeah) . So with that in mind I am willing to make this party fun, and possibly marginally aimed at those who want to stare at a tv screen and yell at people throwing a ball back and forth. Well those players do have might fine rears, so I might join in a little bit.

So as to my planning, I kid you not, my birthday planning has entirely been done with and me looking and pinning stuff going “OH DUDE that would so rock” which is why I am having


That’s just to begin with, because I do not want my family thinking we are a bunch of red neck hicks that don’t know how to throw a party. Cause oh by gods we do, damnit.
I’m also planning on having some snazzy decorations, making it look like a freaking party!.

Oh the Margarita cupcakes? Oh yeah, in margarita glasses, with crystalized sugar on the rim in sparkly colors, Oh hells YES is this gonna be a party to remember.

I am so excited about it.

I can’t hardly wait to see it.

I realize this is three blog posts today, but I’m antsy. So…yes.

How did I break my mom? She’s gonna just be so darn happy when she see’s this party I am throwing her. She knows I’m throwing a party, she has no idea what all I am doing (no not even if she actually reads this blog post, which she doesn’t anyway so what does it matter?)

OH and a brisket cause everything is better with beef.

I am so stupidly excited over this I cannot even begin to explain it all.

when asked though “what do you want for your birthday” her response?

A watch. Gah…Maybe I can find her a neat watch with a skull on it. No wait that’s something I would like not the other way around. Way to go Lori! thinking about yourself lol.

But I do want this to be fantastic for her and I am going to do everything in my power for it to be. ROCK ON party hard ya’ll.


2 comments on “I broke my mom.

  1. This is awesome. Parties are fun! My mom wouldn’t let me throw her 60th. She did it herself and she did an awesome job.

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