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Traveling Red Dress


What is this?

http://thebloggess.com

has “created” this. It’s not about wearing a red dress to the supermarket, it’s about being YOU with no shame.

With no “I have to be a size 12 before I can do this” it’s about being fabulous being YOU.

I wish I could say I was as fantastic as Jenny, who probably would not describe herself as fantastic at all, but in my mind she is. For a few reasons. She has inspired me to be “me” not the me everyone thinks I should be, but the me that I am.

The me, that..yes..darlings, I have cut myself, to make myself feel better. I eat food, when I am upset, bored, lonely, hating myself.

No Darlings I am not suicidal, I have no want to “off myself”, but sometimes a knife on your fore arm makes you feel whole. No, I am not in treatment for this. It hasn’t happened in a very long time. But yes it does happen and you know? I don’t actually think there’s anything “wrong” with it.

I am who I am, I am bursting with “i want to be artistics” I am not specially artistic, but it is who I am. It sometimes bubbles up inside me and wants me to explode, but no that doesn’t alway’s mean i get to do what it is i feel inside me to do.

Back to Jenny. She did this you guys.

She made me want a red dress

she made me want to be *me*

she made me realize, it’s okay…to hurt, and feel safe talking about it

Addictions come in various forms, this will definitely be an incoherent post.

Sex, Drugs, books, harry potter, twilight, calligraphy, painting, dogs, cats this is all….ALL addictions you guys.

at times, in various ways shapes and forms, it has happened to me.

no…not all at once, no…i wouldn’t consider myself a drug addict. Unless you count caffiene at which point back the fuck off my drug bitches it’s MINE.

I realize I will never be that “special” or unique or probably even well liked. I fail an awful lot, and I let myself get mired down in that.

And what’s worse,  I keep thinking about it. All the time. “I didn’t make any sales today” “I won’t do this” “I can’t do that”

Well I cannot promise it ends now, but i can promise that i know i am doing it.

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