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day four…


By the time rachel had gotten home the medication had worn off.
it had.

Now let me explain that was not a bad thing,
we were headed over to some friends for supper, and she needed that.

I needed it more than she did.

I used to baby sit these kids.
They were my “family” when *I* was a kid.

And I saw what it could be like. The oldest boy in this family has ADD.

and he is a good kid, loud, talkative, but a great kid.

It showed me that medication won’t alway’s be what we have to have for rachel of which I am so grateful.

She can learn self control, she can learn how to calm herself down so she can learn.

But she needs the help.

Caffeine will be integrated into her system a bit more as well. I wish she would drink coffee, as we could control the sugar better in that. But, we’ll work with what we’ve got.

School wise, I want to talk to mrs Guilliams and see what she says, but I’ve noticed a difference here at the house.

And I’m wondering if she noticed it at school as well.

I’m hoping so. Really.

To me it’s all about her, and making her realize that yes. She is a strong capable child who can do anything. She just needs to….feel that she can.

________________________________________________

Now this part is with me.

I am still free…over a week into this epiphany, and I am still calm, able to forgive to forget to get past it all.

I seriously doubt that it was intended to do this. After all it’s just a series of books, after all.

BUT it is..and it has…and by gods I am so happy.

I’m changing myself, into something better. becoming more. And damnit..I am proud of this

very very very proud of this.

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