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so…


Trust is a strange thing…i took a chance the other day and trusted a woman that probably was a huge flipping mistake because i said something to her, and she ran and told someone else, and so i got in trouble for it. someone is going to have to tell me what sort of pleasure she got out of that because i sure as hell didn’t get any pleasure out of it. So i’m sitting here going over my track record with trusting women.
Noel…best friend in high school, i set her up with Orlando her husband, and haven’t spoken to her since. Apparantly it’s my fault. it probably is.
Sarah, rescuded her son from climbing up on a mountian of stacked chairs, and strike up a conversation with her, and life is then jolly good. Introduce her to my husband, set them up gaming on the camp with their little game things, i find myself un invited.
Then, i find myself being squeezed out of the loop with my husband and my best friend. They go out to the junior staff party, they go onto the base and do all sorts of things together
then…i show up at sarahs house, after he is arrested for hitting me.
and find his wallet, his cell phone, and his keys on her microwave.
i say “did richard spend the night”…she goes ‘Oh…err..yeah”
i go upstairs, and find him naked in her bed.
so yeah..betrayal there.
I make friends with a woman, and find her…spreading lies and rumors behind my back, and then..yeah
ANd then two nights ago…i tell someone, that i am gladly serving someone…
that i am enjoying doing so, and what happens? she tells him, i get beaten for it…
and it feels like i’m being thrown away by him
now..further confessions
i wanted the J…because i wanted to feel like someone wanted me..
someone for me, i don’t know if that will ever happen again, but
i’m okay with it not.
alright, i’m rambling…
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